Fagles writes in free verse with variable line lengths and a contemporary register that tips occasionally into the colloquial. His opening word, "Rage," stands alone, a single noun before the goddess is even named, and that choice sets the pace for a translation that values punch and forward momentum. His diction in the Book 21 passage, "Come, friend, you too must die. Why moan about it so?", is direct to the point of bluntness. Verity's version of the same line, "So, my friend, you too must die; why lament like this?", keeps the same structure but chooses "lament" over "moan," which sits at a slightly higher register. Verity's lines tend to run longer and more evenly, producing a steadier, less jagged rhythm across the page. Verity prioritizes fidelity to the Greek syntax and content over dramatic effect. His Book 9 passage works through Achilles' two choices methodically, staying close to the sequence of the original. Fagles makes the same speech feel more urgent by adding "my pride, my glory dies . . . true, but the life that's left me will be long," where the pause and the concession are his own additions. Fagles adds texture and emotional color that the Greek does not explicitly contain. Verity removes that interpolation and keeps the structure plainer. A reader who wants to understand what Homer's Greek is doing at the level of argument and arrangement will find Verity more useful. A reader who wants the poem to feel alive on first contact will find Fagles easier to stay with.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.